I’ve got something she can blow besides those candles.Please don’t blow out the candles just yet luv. XOXO
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
I’d love to worm my way through that apple!Apple Bottom
It’s something about that glasses that make her look even sexier. She looks like a naughty Taylor Swift.
(Source: lindasladys)
You look very much like Gillian Anderson in this picture, but enough of a difference to still be you. Beautiful!I wear a UK 14, 36D and I weigh 178lbs. I’m unsure of my precise measurements sorry :(
Dayummm, 113 notes?! Buzzinggggggggggggg!
I thought it was a bear skin rug, not a bare skin rug. Although, if I had to choose this would definitely be my first pick.
(Source: sung-hi.com)
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